Kerala: God’s Own Country

3 Nov

Let’s be honest, I have never heard of Kerala, and If I had to guess I would not have thought it to be a state in the southwest part of India. Over thirty million people decide to dwell in Kerala, and it is considered to be one of the foremost spice trading centers in the world. However, spices won’t bring you out of the third world so Kerala decided to create a tourism campaign to bring in first world money to aid in its development.With that being said, Kerala’s campaign is intensely freaky.  To be candid, after viewing the below video I will never come close to stepping on Kerala soil,  and will add it to the list of places never to visit. Parts of this video conjure up nightmares left for an off Bourbon Street voodoo shop.

Please keep in mind of the video’s title, Your Moment Is Waiting.

Video highlights:

1:27 Your soul, disguised as your mirror image, is fleeing in the opposite direction. This should be taken as a warning. Start developing an exit strategy.

1:40 After arriving in Kerala, and taking part in a scenic boat ride, the unsuspecting tourist has their hands bound, and left screaming and convulsing in the woods as the locals beat drums and children watch calmly.

2:00 You are now introduced to the natives.  To start, A red-painted devilish looking Indian tribesman bearing two crossing cobras on his chest, and wearing a giant red phallic headpiece. Next, a somewhat reserved, highly decorated tribesman, painted red, with eyes like a chameleon. He’s there to watch. And finally, the psychotic neighborhood tribesman, donning metal eyes and mustache, red paint, and a tattooed forehead.  You might want to ask, “Where am I?” That’s right a field in the middle of nowhere. This can’t end well.

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